Happy New Year from Copacabana Beach 2012

Last January when I bought three pairs of running pants from Adidas the shop assistant asked “Oh is this your New Year’s resolution?” and I said “Ah, no, I just thought it would be a good idea to go for a run during my lunch break and I need some new pants to do that” and she looked at me like I was a bitch, because it was still January, which clearly made my decision to run at lunch time and buy new clothes for it a New Year’s Resolution. She was just trying to be friendly, so I didn’t hold it against her like I did the girl from Sheike who opened the dressing room curtain and asked me “how did you get on?” and I said “I don’t think this dress is for me; my boobs don’t fill it out” and she said “that’s what push up bras are for.”

So, it’s 2012 and I can’t help but think of a book called ‘The fingerprints of the Gods’ by Graham Hancock. Back in 1998 a friend gave it to me and said it was what everyone was reading when he went to Mexico and I was going to Mexico, so. [Spoiler Alert] There was all this stuff about Sphinxes, Pyramids, lost continents and ice ages and then the conclusion, which was we’re all gonna die in 2012. I remember thinking “what utter bullshit, but damn” and then, “oh well, it’s only 1998 I’ve got a good 14 years of living left; that’s heaps”.

Now I’m wondering, if I believed the world was going to end this year, would it change my New Year’s resolutions? Would I make some? Would they be better than the ones I’d make if I thought I had another thirty years ahead of me? I don’t have any answers to those questions. I’m still at the wondering part. I’m fairly sure though, if everyone knew the world was going to end it would all descend into total fucking anarchy and I wouldn’t get to do what I wanted anyway, unless I wanted to take part in a more realistic version of Survivor.

I’ve made three resolutions that assume Graham Hancock and the Mayans are wrong and life will go on after 2012.

Resolution number one. I just counted how many books I read last year and it was a little under one per week. My to-be-read pile is high and it’s only going to get higher now that I’ve happily given in to the pleasure I get from reading about and buying books. So, I want to read at least one book per week this year. Yawn, but I wanted to make at least one resolution I could actually keep.

Resolution number two. I want to live through next winter without going mental. Current strategies include turning on the heater without thought to the cost and staying under a hot shower as many times and for as long as it takes, and they’re good strategies, but I need to add to them, because they are not the complete solution. This year I want to go outside more in the daytime for the vitamin D, so I resolve to go for a walk during my lunch break at work, for at least 30 minutes and at least three times a week. Ah, yes, well spotted. The running pants I bought last January were not followed up by lunch time running sessions.

Resolution number three. I read an interview with Joan Mitchell by Cora Cohen and Betsy Sussler in BOMB magazine the other day. I love art, but discussions about it are usually really boring, to me, but this really wasn’t and part way through Joan gave Cora some advice about starting out in the art business, which I think could be applied to my life in general. “I think you’re a little girl going into her first ice skating competition and scared like hell she’s going to fall flat on her face in Madison Square Garden… And I’m being my mother to little Joan and I’m saying-so you fall.” That’s the attitude I want to take with all the stuff that freaks me out that I want to do this year, so I’m gonna give it a go.

Yes, I think three resolutions are definitely enough. Now it’s time to go and roll another coat of white paint on the kitchen walls.

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