Our five point plan for renovating the beach-hack

Eddie and I have developed a five point plan to turn our spider infested, bunny hopping, ford festive beach hack into something, if not more glamorous, at least more likely to get us to the beach or supermarket without fear of being bitten by a spider or whip-lashed by a bunny hop.    

It has only taken us over a month since the baby huntsman incident to put it into practice, and it will go something like this… 

1. Spray the whole car inside and out with fly-spray.  This happened this afternoon.  Eddie took charge of the fly-spray can and I followed him around the car, pointing out webs and nooks he had missed, exclaiming over the number of spiders who came crawling out of webs and crannies to die, and getting ready to call an ambulance in case anything poisonous fought back. 
2. Take the car up the road to someone who is prepared to clean a car COVERED in spider-webs.  I’d like to send Eddie to do this on his own, but I’m fairly sure I’m gonna have to share in the shame.  Maybe we’ll do that next weekend…
3. Spray the car with fly-spray again.  Just to be sure any resilient spiders don’t rebuild.
4. Buy coil, spark plugs, and leads to fix the bunny hop.  Ideally, the engine coil should send an electrical pulse to the distributor which sends a timed pulse to the spark plugs which ignites the fuel in each of the festy’s four cylinders.  Trouble is, it’s bunny hopping between three and four cylinders… which makes it “a problem between the coil and the spark plugs.”  So, Eddie’s going to fix the hop and I’m going to stand nearby, hand him tools, and ask annoying questions about exactly what he is doing and why.  
5. Stand back and admire our work.