Where I need better directions

I struggled to find my way out of two train stations this week.  Yes, there WERE signs everywhere, but anyone who has ever tried finding their way to somewhere new knows that signs are for people who know where they are and where they’re going…
 
So, as I tried to find my way out of the second train station this week I actually wished I was Tom Cruise walking through that mall with all those helpful TALKING signs in Minority Report.  OK, I didn’t actually want to BE Tom Cruise… he’s not my kind of weird… but for about ten minutes I was prepared to give up all my privacy and personal information in exchange for a friendly sign that knew everything about me and where I was going. 

My sign would have said something like “Hello apiece, I hope you had a nice day at work today… NO, No, not that way, that leads to a construction site, turn right.  Very good, now look for the glass doors.  Have a lovely evening apiece and please don’t have another coffee tonight you’re already past shrill.”